


Dreams of You

by notenoughcoffee



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 16:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notenoughcoffee/pseuds/notenoughcoffee
Summary: Anna of Cleves relives one of the worst moments of her life every night.





	Dreams of You

Anna jolted straight up. Her equilibrium completely thrown off as she teetered at the edge of her bed, it took her a few seconds to gain her bearings in a position far from the one she had fallen asleep in. She took ragged gasps of air in and hissed out her exhalations to calm her heart hammering against her ribcage. When each breath became less of a battle and the pounding in her chest eased, she peeled her sweat-soaked shirt from her body and grabbed the spare she placed on her nightstand before she went to sleep -- knowing this, now, was a common occurrence.   

There was no point trying to get back to sleep.

She made her way carefully down the stairs, stepping over the floor boards that would betray her to the light sleepers of the house. As she passed the clock on the microwave, she flinched at the illuminated numbers displaying the time to be 2:19AM. Knowing the remainder of the night was going to be drawn-out, she settled herself in the unforgiving, hard plastic chair in the back garden, and let the soft sounds of the night lull her back into a sense of normalcy, or as close to it as she could get.

Hours later, with the muted glow of dawn just beginning to break over the horizon, dew drops collecting on the grass and leaves, and a chill settling in her bones, Anna hadn’t stirred. She sat, consumed by her thoughts, unmoving and hardly recognizing her surroundings. 

“You’re out here again?” Anna once again found herself bolting upright with her heart battered against her ribs, her stomach plummeted to the ground at the voice behind her. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to frighten you,” Katherine apologized softly as she curled herself into the chair opposite Anna. “Did you fall asleep out here again?”

“S’alright.Yeah. Must have,” Anna lied, struggling to regain control of her lungs. She didn’t want to admit how elusive sleep had been for her, especially lately. 

Katherine eyed her carefully, studying her face and her hands that fidgeted, closing and releasing, closing and releasing, the arms of the chair. “Everything okay?”

Anna forced a smile and gave her a curt nod. 

“You don’t need to lie to me, Anna. We’ve known each other too long for that.”

This time, Anna’s slight smile was genuine. She should have known better than to underestimate the girl in front of her. 

“Do you remember when we first met?” Anna asked her in a whisper.

Katherine snorted and gave a joyous little giggle. “You mean when I tripped over the train of your dress and fell flat on my face?”

“All your training on how to be a proper lady and your gangly limbs gave you away the instant you walked in the room.” Anna couldn’t help but laugh with Katherine. “Your little panicked face when you looked up at me. I loved you immediately,” she sobered. 

Katherine gave her a shy smile, shifted in her seat, and nudged Anna’s leg with her slippered foot. “You were exactly the friend I needed. Still are.” She bit her lip before folding back in on herself and wrapping her arms tightly around her knees. “So why won’t you tell me what’s wrong? I want to help you.”

Silence stretched between them, ushering in the rising sun. Anna was certain that Katherine would tire of waiting or let sleep take her again, but she sat patiently holding her gaze. The heavy weight of her burdon had become too much for her to carry alone. After so many years, of course Katherine would be the one to reach out and try to ease the pain she felt. Ironic, really, if she considered it.

“Because I should have been the one to help you,” Anna’s words broke through the quiet, filled with shame and regret, and strangled with the grief she still felt.

“Help me?” Katherine, evidently not expecting to hear that, stared at her mystified.

“Before. With him. I should have done more,” Anna buried her face in her hands to hide the torrent of tears streaming down her face. “If I had done something, anything, he might not have hurt you. What if it was my fault?”

“Anna, my fate was not your doing.”

“No, but I should have done more to stop it. You were my friend, and I left you to die,” she choked back a sob as she crumpled in on herself.

Katherine knelt in front of her, pressing her cheek onto the top of Anna’s head and rubbing circles on her back. “You did exactly what I needed you to do,” she whispered. “You kept yourself out of harm’s way. You kept yourself safe. I didn’t have many true friends at the end, but I knew you were with me.” Katherine’s own tears had begun to fall, remembering how alone she had been in those last few days. Even if she hadn’t realized at the time that Anna was still out there, thinking of her, caring for her, knowing with certainty now was an enormous comfort.

“I should have at least been there on the day. So you would know. So you wouldn’t be alone.”

“No. I’m glad you weren’t there. I wouldn’t want you to see me like that,” Katherine shuddered at the thought of her friend witnessing the last moments of her life. She would never have found comfort in that. 

“I still dream about it, you know. I always dream of you, but every dream is different. Sometimes you’re screaming. Sometimes you die without a sound,” Anna admitted between sobs. Her arms, which had been squeezing around her own middle, wound their way around Katherine’s shoulders, grasping on to her tightly, as if she could shield the girl from the horrors of her past with her own body. 

“That’s why you don’t sleep? You’re having nightmares,” the immensity of the trauma hit Katherine with sudden clarity. She felt Anna’s nodded response against her. “How long?”

“I thought they had gone away for a while when we got here,” she clung to Katherine tighter. “Spending all this time with you now…  Not just remembering you as you were, but seeing your smile, hearing your laugh, talking with you, actually being present with you,” Anna’s hands fisted in Katherine’s night shirt, pulling her impossibly closer. “It isn’t just a memory anymore. You’re here. We could have had so much more time for it then. And what if it all gets taken away again.”

Katherine swallowed her own terror at the thought that everything could be taken from her just as it had been all those years ago, choosing instead to reciprocate the tight hug she was locked in. “Yeah. I’m here now. Head firmly attached,” she tried to joke, but only succeeded in making herself wince with the thought. 

“You must have been so scared.”

“It was over too quickly to be much of anything. It was so long ago.” Katherine held the truth dancing on the tip of her tongue, ignoring the flashes of the block in front of her as she practiced laying her head upon it. Now was not the time for those memories. “I’m going to enjoy the time I’ve been given, and be thankful that you’re here with me too.”

Anna knew Katherine was holding back, but didn’t press further. Instead she let Katherine pull back from her embrace and stand up.

“Why don’t we head inside,” she said while offering Anna a hand to help her up. “There’s still a few more hours before anyone else gets up.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” she protested, but still taking the proffered hand.

“Then maybe you can just sit with me while I do?” Katherine’s grasp on Anna’s hand held firm. Her question sounding more like a plea than a suggestion. “You can wake me up when my own nightmares start,” Katherine confessed quietly. She looked at Anna hesitantly, afraid that her carefully constructed facade she made up to conceal her own trauma from while consoling Anna would fall to pieces.

Anna nodded, squeezing Katherine’s hand in return before following her back inside the house. 

She knew she would always be torn about not being there when Katherine had needed her most, for not doing more to put a stop to it, but now, at least, she could be there for her when sleep brought her back to that time. This time she could do and say all of the things she wished she had done for so long. 

And maybe, with time, she would relive those moments differently too. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I always dream of you, but every dream is different. Sometimes you're screaming. Sometimes you die without a sound."
> 
> Also this wasn't meant to be shippy, but if that's what you're into feel free to think of it as such. I am a gay mess too. It's okay.


End file.
